When A Feller's Itchin' to be Spanked

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Publication Information

Published in Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow (1905)

Performed by Herbert Woodward Martin

Musical Settings

Gary Bachlund, When A Feller's Itchin' to be Spanked (baritone and piano) (January 2009)

Text

W'en us fellers stomp around, makin' lots o' noise,
Gramma says, "There's certain times comes to little boys
W'en they need a shingle or the soft side of a plank;"
She says "we're a-itchin' for a right good spank."
An' she says, "Now thes you wait,
It's a-comin' -- soon or late,
W'en a fellers itchin' for a spank."

W'en a feller's out o' school, you know how he feels,
Gramma says we wriggle 'roun like a lot o' eels.
W'y it's like a man that's thes home from out o' jail.
What's the use o' scoldin' if we pull Tray's tail?
Gramma says, tho', 'thes you wait,
It's a-comin' -- soon or late,
You'se the boys that's itchin' to be spanked."

Cats is funny creatures an' I like to make 'em yowl
Gramma alwus looks at me with an awful scowl
An' she says, "Young gentlemen, mamma should be thanked
Ef you'd get your knickerbockers right well spanked."
An' she says, "Now thes you wait,
It's a-comin' -- soon or late,"
W'en a feller's itchin' to be spanked.

Ef you fin' the days is getting' awful hot in school
An' you know a swimmin' place where it's nice an' cool,
Er you know a cat-fish hole brimmin' full o' fish,
Whose a-goin' to set around school and wish?
"Tain't no use to hide your bait,
It's a-comin' -- soon or late,
W'en a feller's itchin' to be spanked.

Ol' folks know most ever'thing 'bout the world, I guess,
Gramma does, we wish she knowed thes a little less,
But I alwus kind o' think it 'ud be as well
Ef they wouldn't alwus have to up an' tell;
We kids wish 'at they'd thes wait,
It's a-comin' -- soon or late,
W'en a feller's itchin' to be spanked.


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